Posts Tagged ‘Mean Coach’

My last lesson with Mean Coach was ok. He asked me how my test went but didn’t specifically congratulate me for passing. But that’s ok, it’s just not who he is. He was more concerned about the marks and the judge’s comments.

Then I was like it’s my last lesson, what are we doing? And he was like oh, we’re going to miss you here. (remember this)

So we went over my Bronze freeskate – which I have to test – and I almost got my full Flip. Almost. I need to prerotate my arms more and pull in since I don’t jump very high. (although today I was jumping higher than normal, that happens once a month ūüėČ He also changed some of the choreography. At first I was like you can’t change it because it’s Coach J’s choreography, but then I thought it’s cool to have a little bit of both of them in it.

So the best tips I got from him today are:
Finish each move.
Cover the ice.
Don’t skate on my heels so much when going forward (a bad habit of mine, he says probably because when I started skating I was so cautious to not trip on my toepicks).
Prerotate my upper body for my Flip and then rotate the rest of me.

Yeah, wake up. I guess I have trouble focusing on just what I’m trying to do. Like I think about that and what can go wrong with that and what I’m going to have for lunch today and what my dog might be doing and you get the picture.

So my lesson ends and Mean Coach asks when I’m going to be back. I swear no one ever listens to me! So I explain, again, that I’m moving across the country. He thought I was just going on a long vacation. Idiot.

But then we start talking about traveling and he told me when he was competing and had to go out of CCCP for competitions the KGB would follow him! How cool! I never imagined when I was little knowing someone who was followed by the KGB.

He also asked me if I was going to continue skating. I said I didn’t know. And he got a little annoyed/disappointed and was like “Then why we just do that?” So I said I just might drop the ice dancing and he thought that was a good idea.

In truth I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I promised my husband I wouldn’t take any more private lessons until I lost a big chunk of weight (aka the big chunk of weight I’ve gained since moving in with my mother this year). And I’m going to honor that promise, but we have to see where we’re living in proximity of ice and what my schedule is like. But I want to continue to skate! I still want to pass all the tests and do some competitions. But I probably will give up ice dancing, especially since my husband promised to do roller dance with me!!!

He hates ice skating, but loves roller skating. and he’s good at it. I like roller skating, like the rink’s warmer, but that’s about the only plus. Unless someone knows a mean Russian roller skating coach on the West coast who will tell me I have bugs on my brain. Just let me know.


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I had my lesson with Mean Coach today. (I have two coaches, they’re both Russian and have the same name. I used to just call them Coach #1 and Coach #2, but that was kinda boring and they didn’t exactly dig it. Coach #1¬†is old, mean and loud. He teaches me MITF and freestyle. He’s now Mean Coach.¬†Coach #2¬†is young, quiet and impossible. He teaches me ice dance and helps with the moves and freestyle. He really reminds me of Coach J.¬†So he’s now Nice Coach, even though he isn’t all that nice. He’s kinda a sarcastic asshole – hence the likeness to Coach J!)

Anyway, lessons with Mean Coach usually don’t go so well because I suck and I usually get really nervous before them and, while it’s great for my colon health, it’s not very pleasant.

So today we ran through my Bronze moves and he said they were passable!!!! YAY!!!!

I asked “Would I pass?”
And he said “Yes, that would be passing, for me.”
“For me? What do you mean “for me”?
“For me, because I’m your coach and I’ve seen where you started from.”
Awww! That’s the first nice thing Mean Coach ever said to me!

At first when he said it in my mind I said to myself “You’re not my coach. Coach J is my coach, you’re just a fill in.” But then I thought “I haven’t lessoned with Coach J since December. He’s 3,000 miles away. Yeah, I bug him a lot with skating questions and skating updates, but I guess Mean Coach is now my coach. And Nice Coach too.”

Oh, and this post is titled “Pat Myself On The Back” because whenever I do something well in my lesson with Mean Coach I physically pat myself on my back. Coach J used to give high-fives and hugs and my figures coach, Colleen, she would do this adorable¬†dorky little dance when I did somethig well, but Meanie and Nicey over here don’t do anything like that. The closest I’ve gotten is them saying “It’s better.” But hell, I’ll take it!

I even got a few “It’s better”s today on my flip jump attempts!!! I’m having a problem swinging my arms. Like I swing them way up like over my head instead of swinging them like you do in a scratch spin. But it’s getting better, and for that I pat myself on the back!

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