Posts Tagged ‘coach’

Mean Coach and I were running through my Bronze MITF test and as I’m struggling – as usual – with the 5-Step Mohawk sequence he starts yapping about how the judges, even though they’re “old and stupid,” aren’t going to appreciate my hesiation.

Old and stupid huh…
How old are they? I asked.
“60, 80” he replied.
“I’m 80,” I said.
“You skate like you’re 80.”

OMG! He’ so mean!

But he also told me I’m “special.”
He probably meant it in a “I bet you can injure yourself while eating pudding with a rubber spoon” kinda way, but maybe not.
But I do enjoy pudding.


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This is what Mean Coach said to me today word for word:
“Stephanie, in your next life in five years you will be a great figure skater.”

So I thanked him for predicting my early demise and he clarified that in my next life I will start skating when I’m 5 years old and everything I’m learning now will carry over into my next life.

I’m not sure what that was supposed to do for me but now I’m worried I’m going to die in 5 years.

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I had my lesson with Mean Coach today. (I have two coaches, they’re both Russian and have the same name. I used to just call them Coach #1 and Coach #2, but that was kinda boring and they didn’t exactly dig it. Coach #1 is old, mean and loud. He teaches me MITF and freestyle. He’s now Mean Coach. Coach #2 is young, quiet and impossible. He teaches me ice dance and helps with the moves and freestyle. He really reminds me of Coach J. So he’s now Nice Coach, even though he isn’t all that nice. He’s kinda a sarcastic asshole – hence the likeness to Coach J!)

Anyway, lessons with Mean Coach usually don’t go so well because I suck and I usually get really nervous before them and, while it’s great for my colon health, it’s not very pleasant.

So today we ran through my Bronze moves and he said they were passable!!!! YAY!!!!

I asked “Would I pass?”
And he said “Yes, that would be passing, for me.”
“For me? What do you mean “for me”?
“For me, because I’m your coach and I’ve seen where you started from.”
Awww! That’s the first nice thing Mean Coach ever said to me!

At first when he said it in my mind I said to myself “You’re not my coach. Coach J is my coach, you’re just a fill in.” But then I thought “I haven’t lessoned with Coach J since December. He’s 3,000 miles away. Yeah, I bug him a lot with skating questions and skating updates, but I guess Mean Coach is now my coach. And Nice Coach too.”

Oh, and this post is titled “Pat Myself On The Back” because whenever I do something well in my lesson with Mean Coach I physically pat myself on my back. Coach J used to give high-fives and hugs and my figures coach, Colleen, she would do this adorable dorky little dance when I did somethig well, but Meanie and Nicey over here don’t do anything like that. The closest I’ve gotten is them saying “It’s better.” But hell, I’ll take it!

I even got a few “It’s better”s today on my flip jump attempts!!! I’m having a problem swinging my arms. Like I swing them way up like over my head instead of swinging them like you do in a scratch spin. But it’s getting better, and for that I pat myself on the back!

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Coach Is Right

Coach is always right. I just don’t always realize it right away.

The other day we were working on the Cha Cha and my coach was nitpicking on some edge. So I keep doing it and he says “Edge was better that time.” I almost fell over! He never says anything I do is good or better. And he said “That’s because coach should not give compliaments.”

At first I was like what? of course I want my coach to tell me I’m doing better. But then I stewed on it and he’s right. You shouldn’t skate and strive to improve just in the hopes of getting praise from your coach. And it is super awesome when people outside your circle tell you you’re skating well.

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I like a lot of feedback from my coaches – if I don’t immediatly get it I will ask for it.

So today we learned a new move in our ice dance lesson; we try the move and I ask coach “Was that good?”
His response: “You just learned it, why would it be good?”

LOL! I ❤ my coach!

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“Stephanie, you need to have style when you skate. You can have style like figure skater or you can have style like hockey player. Just because you have on figure skates doesn’t mean you have style like figure skater.” Then he moved around like he was imitating King Kong, but he was imitating me.

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He’s Going To Break Me!

I’ve been away from my old rink for almost two months now and I thought it was damn well time I found a new coach.

For some reason it’s been difficult to find a new coach. Ok for a lot of reasons (coaches don’t advertise, coaches don’t respond to advertisements, phone calls, e-mails etc …, no one can measure up to my old coach, you know stuff like that). But before I got to the rink yesterday I swore I was going to get a coach that day. And I did!!!!

I was all set to drastically compromise on the kind of coach I like to work with just for the sake of having someone to work with, but then I saw a coach I had never seen before. He doesn’t meet all my requirements (I didn’t even ask if he knew what effin’ means) but I think I can work with him.

These were my criteria:
* Be a guy – HE IS!
* Teach Freestyle – HE DOES!
* Teach MITF – YUP!
* Teach Ice Dance – NYET
* Know what “effin'” means – I DON’T THINK SO 😦
* Hook my tights on my right foot before a competition or test – I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT
* Not be afraid to slam me into a wall if I need to be slammed into a wall – I EXPECT TO BREAK A FEW RIBS
* Want me to achieve my goals as much as I do – WE’LL SEE … IF HE DOESN’T CARE THEN HE’S OUT

Yeah, he’s Russian. Coach J predicted I would get a mean Russian coach and they would do wonders for my skating so I’m going with that. I’ll have to find a separate ice dance coach, but I know this guy knows figures – since he competed them at the senior international level!!! Yeah, he stood on the podium with Todd Eldredge, Rudy Galindo, Vladimir Petrenko (Viktor’s younger brother) and some other Olympians. He also won his country’s senior nationals. I know!

He said he teaches all levels, but I somehow feel like I’m not a good enough skater to be taught by him. Hopefully, he’ll help me turn myself into a skater who is good enough.

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